If I had a patio or a balcony, right now would be the perfect time to sit there and listen to music and contemplate all the beautiful, interesting things that life can be. But I don’t have a patio or a balcony, so instead, I’m sitting inside, listening to music while my macaroni and cheese boils and writing here.
The weekend will never be long enough. The workday will always be too long. The milk will always go bad the day you decide to make macaroni, causing you to half-run to Giant before you start making dinner because you were so excited for that specific meal that now you can’t imagine not having it.
Where did this summer go?
It’s been almost four months since graduation. Almost four months since I said goodbye to my friends and to Bloomington. I don’t… I don’t know how the time has gone so quickly. It feels like yesterday. And yet, there are the statuses about Welcome Week, and class schedules, and Monday will bring complaints about professors and the work they expect or the fact that someone has a class with that one person they hoped they’d never see again. Being reminded that school is starting, watching my friends who are entering grad school, or who are still in college prepare for the start of another year makes me me miss it all the more. Holy shit, do I miss it.
But I know I did the right thing, and though I had my doubts, I am happy here. I still have moments where I am cripplingly lonely, and when I don’t understand why I came here, where a Whiskey Sour costs over $7 and even hipsters don’t dress like hipsters, because they’ve got day jobs working for non-profits.
When I walk around the city on one of those rare low-humidity days, when I play kickball at the base of the Washington Monument, when tourists ask me for directions, when people still read real, printed books on the Metro, when I hear a dozen different, beautiful languages in the same day. Those are the moments when I truly love it here.
Though I still have my doubts, though I still wonder what I’d be doing now, if I hadn’t taken this risk, I am glad I did.
This city has many things to offer me, but they will not find me, I must go looking for them.